Whether you are visiting us from Oneonta or Yale, or have just started your college career at Dowling College, we would like to welcome you via this orientation tour.
The Book Store is located in the basement of the college. Take any down staircase to the basement and turn left. Turn right and you will end up at the very popular Cafeteria. Now a word of caution is indicated here. If you plan to do any eating at our spotless, sanitary, and airy snackery, you really should come prepared. The food, nutritiously planned and antiseptically handled is prepared by germ-proofing it in airless, plastic tents. Of course, it gets rather stale this way but you can’t have everything, can you? The Chef’s extensive repertoire consists of stuffed peppers and lasagna, both liberally doused with red sauce whose taste stays with you for hours. However, the canned sodas are highly recommended. I must warn you, at this point, of the need to bring one’s own table and chair as the cafeteria’s tables are usually occupied by dirty paper plates, used napkins, paper cups and the ubiquitous red sauce decorating the table tops and chairs. The decor of the Cafeteria has been carefully planned, from the expensive monkey-tree paneling to the wall-to-wall carpeting which has many and varied designs on it. The back end of the Cafeteria was christened the Lions’ Den and it certainly is.
Now, on with our tour. If any of your classes are in the Science and Education wing, you have your choice of getting there two ways; one by tunnel in the basement, and the other by way of the Cloisters near the Student Lounge. Signs are usually posted to help the lost and water can be found at different spots along the way.
A few words about the aforementioned Student Lounge. It is a lovely high-ceiling room located on the ground floor of the College, used previously (by the Vanderbilts) as a billiard room. The students have free access to it for studying, socializing, playing cards or watching the color TV donated by Mr. Dowling.
Every evening at the stroke of eleven, two men come to the Student Lounge and shovel out the debris left by the students so that every morning we can start all over again. Just think! If it wasn’t for these thoughtful students, two men would be without jobs!
One more point of interest – The student parking lot. Oh yes, there is a lot for students’ cars – you haven’t been parking in the faculty lot next to the building, have you? Well, to find this student lot, you take a compass heading of due east toward the Carriage House, a large white building in the distance. Once there you head due south. The trip back again shouldn’t take you longer than ten minutes after your class begins.
We must end our Orientation now so as to cover a report of survivors sighted near the Biology lab.
Dowling College Night Owl